In Chinese astrology, I am a Tiger. Roar! The Chinese New Year took place the other day, so I looked up my horoscope for the year. The outlook is less than spectacular, a hunker down and bear through sort of year I think. It has certainly started that way.
Last week I had a mini crisis-breakdown about finding my way from graduate school to my career. This past weekend I had a killer stomach virus. My stomach is still healing; relegated to soft simple foods. The homework for this week's classes has been out of my grasp. I had a short paper due yesterday. I wrote in circles for hours and could not get it done on time. Today I thought my luck would start to change. I got the haircut I have been waiting for two months to get. Highlights, lowlights, wash, blow dry. I could not ask for more. Then I got the news that my sister's boyfriend beat her up when she tried to break up with him.
To say the least I was utterly shocked and surprised. My sister, beautiful and confident. Picturing her in my mind with bruises, arm in a sling, never mind her mental state.
I don't know what to do. I know to comfort her and let her know she has support. (Bastard is changing his story around, claiming she fell, then it was self-defense.) She will probably come stay with me a few days when she done dealing with the police and what-not. What I am having trouble with is the urge for revenge. I really want to find him and exact revenge personally. I also believe in government and law and systems. I am pleased to know he has already been arrested and they are preparing charges and going through the legal processes and procedures. I would be happy to let him go through the legal system and get his due. But still my mind wanders away from that.
So this is what the year of the ox is bringing me right now. For now I am a tiger licking it's wounds, mulling what has happened and healing, but I am also preparing for the next phase. My sister and I will regroup.
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