cool breeze

This is Maia watching a car leave. Fall is coming to Florida. This means I can start opening my windows again because the humidity is bearable if existent. I love the change of seasons. The coming of fall always makes me want to play outside. In particular, I feel like playing soccer. *sigh* dear old times, care free times, cat times

the after

I'm feeling very thoughtful today, very much inside my head. Today is an anniversary. On this day last year a good friend, Dylan's best friend in fact, was murdered. The friend's death though will always bring a chill with it because we were supposed to be at his house that night. I'd rather not go into the details. Having them typed out here will not do the world any good.

His death brings to mind the other losses I have suffered. It was about this time three years ago when my grandfather passed away from cancer. This led me to the last time I saw my great-grandmother alive. I saw her on the way to his funeral then less than six months later she passed away. And the first loss, my father was fourteen years ago.

The only thing I can be thankful for is that I had an opportunity to see each of them a short while before they left. I have a good last memory.

school days

For one of my classes, I had to read an excerpt (chapter 1) from the book This Book is Not Required by I. Bell & B. McGrane. The first chapter deals with grades and their use in school systems and how much trouble it causes children and how it reverberates through the rest of their lives.

One paragraph that really struck me goes along the lines of: if grades disappeared 95% of people would stop learning all those things they dislike (conjugating verbs, organic chemistry, etc.). The system says this is exactly why we need grades, so people will learn. What would probably happen though is that after awhile people would become interested in learning again. They may think of something and wonder how it works and then they will go and find it out in their own way.
What it brought to mind: when I was a younger me in the K-12 system I worshipped the coming of summer just like everyone else, anything to be out of the classroom everyday. To be a master of me, so long as my parents approved. After 4-6 weeks of summer break though I became insufferably bored. I would then proceed to set up my own school. I did my own work in math, english, literature, science, and some times a foreign language. I switched topics when I wanted and worked at my own pace. I did not have to listen to other students' low-level questions. I even got my siblings to participate to an extent.

I would support a change in the grading system. I think my ideal system would be High Pass/Pass/No Pass. The No Pass is essential. It eliminates the negative implications of fail. Pass means you mastered the material. High Pass should not be given lightly. It should go to those who went above and beyond and took what they learned to another level. It would help relieve some of the pressure on kids. Maybe more of them would take an interest in learning. I wonder what it would take to convince school systems to give it a try.

On a similar note, I was sitting in a café studying and overheard the cashier talking with a friend. She started studying at a community college and took a couple history classes there. She loved the history classes. She sat in class, listened to the teachers, memorized the material, and parroted it back on the test. So after two years she transferred to the University as a history major. Now she hates her classes. All she does is read books and write papers and she doesn't understand why. I wanted to walk up and shake her. 'You are taking 4000 level classes, you are expected to show that you can think and reason and critique ideas. What kind of history related job did you think you would get that would not need those abilities?' *sigh*
I'm going to watch Eureka.

pondering

I have been pretty busy the past week, but that is not why I have not been posting. I am trying to decide what I want to do with my blog. Somehow I feel into the 'Dear Diary' route and I know I do not want to do that. I hate that. If I get into that, then writing feels like a chore and I want to write to release among other things.

In the mean time I let anyone out there read the personal statement I had to write for class. It is mostly about why I wanted to do a master's degree and what I expect. So enjoy.

A Personal Statement

I have always been a knowledge seeker. Even as a child, the jobs that appealed to me the most were those that seemed to ‘know everything’ and so for the longest time I desired to be a teacher or ‘imparter of knowledge’. As my wisdom of the world grew, my interests developed, and I knew more of myself. I could not be happy standing in a classroom day after day merely passing on knowledge, though I still see it as an important aspect. (Knowledge that belongs to one person is worthless.) My main career interests now point towards in the vague direction of medical sociology.

Things I know I like: medicine, sociology, people, the well being of everything from a person to a community to the world. My future is somewhere in this list. I think it may lie in public health, possibly developing educational programs or policy. I am trying to find out more to lift the fog that veils it. To this end and others I decided pursuing a Master's on sociology would be a very worthwhile endeavor. My background in sociology is weak; a master’s degree will increase my knowledge and be a step towards pinning down my career. Should a doctorate be part of my path, this will also help me attain it. There are none, if any, cons to me getting a masters degree.

I know University. I did my bachelor’s here. I think that will give me an advantage while working on my master’s. I already feel comfortable here and do not have to adjust to living in a new place. This frees my energies to mapping my career, figuring out what I will do after finishing. I hope to find faculty with open doors, willing to guide, and who do not mind answering questions. The prospect of attending conferences and being immersed in sociology culture is thrilling. I think the other graduate students will form a family, helping each other and providing a complaint department. With them I will find people who can truly sympathize with my experiences.

My chief concerns during this period are finding research I can participate in and financing not just school but life costs. I hope I will not have to choose between putting gas in my car or food on my plate. I will be ecstatic if my income can cover both of those and some entertainment expenses. While I am not certain research will be part of my long term career, it is something that I greatly desire to participate in during graduate school. To be a creator of knowledge would fulfill one of my personal goals for my life. A lack of funded projects in my area of interest may hinder this. In the end, I expect to be satisfied and become a more rounded, well-defined person by completing my masters at University.

new books!

I didn’t mean to be gone for so long. At first I was busy and then writing kind of fell from my mind. Sorry, shame on me.

I had a pretty nice three day weekend. I think all weekends should be three days. I feel like I have time to get everything done AND relax. Then there are the benefits of having four day weeks, less commuting, power saving, etc. I think shorter weeks would also make it easier for people to have multiple jobs or work on their own business on the weekend.

Friday Dylan and I went over to Evan’s to see his new place. He finally moved off campus and is renting a room in a house. He needed to get off campus; he spends too much time working with SGA. Two girls moved in as well, I hope they do some decorating or something, because right it has that ‘guy’s’ place feel. We had fun though, ate pizza, played Munchkin, and drank hard lemonades. Maybe a little too much fun. I didn’t wake up Saturday until after 11am. We were good Saturday and cleaned the apartment. And then we played again. This time we had a few friends over here. The boys played Super Smash Bros. The girls chatted. I needed to do some catch up with Cassie. She went home to MA all summer. Not fun, but doesn’t matter anymore cause she’s back!

My favorite day was probably Sunday. We slept in again, though not as late. I made breakfast and we surfed the morning net. Then shopping! I am normally not a big shopper. I get annoyed at things, tired of the hustle and bustle, but I also usually have to be pretty careful about how much money I spend. The wallet clamp was feeling looser this weekend, though I spent enough to put it back on. I spent it on good things! The Linens-n-Things not to far from here is closing, so everything is marked down. I bought some new bath towels, bathmat, silverware, vacuum pack bags, and some little things. None of it was must have, but it was kind of needed.

Then we went over to Borders. I love books. If I could I would build my own library and live there (probably). I was very excited though because last summer two books that I wanted came out in hardback and now they have finally come out in paperback. The first is: Thursday Next, First Among Sequels by Jasper Fforde. Thursday works for Jurisfiction, policing inside novels. I discovered the first of the series 2-3 straight years ago and was able to read through them, but then ran out of material. (Which led me into the Sookie Stackhouse series, but I have to talk about that in another post.) The second book is: The Dark River by John Twelve Hawks. It is the second in a trilogy (a magic number for some reason). It is a Big Brother sort of story with some spiritual/philosophy stuff. Reviews should not be too far off.